#is incredibly detrimental to overall understanding of these concepts

[lorelune]

sometimes i am tempted to get into queer discourse on main but i abstain. shut my mouth and keep my goddamn peace <3

[astrxlfinale]

By the time this journey within Penacony continues on, I'm really going to have to dive into what this will leave woven into Caelus as a result.

Primarily, how through the usage of Clockwork that he's going to developed an advanced emotional sense. (To his benefit and detriment.) While it's not going to say let him just travel into people's hearts without the condition of the Dreamscape (or maybe some rp plotting to play on this note), the depth of what he can perceive will be significantly heightened.

In short it'd be like your joy, your pain, the depths of what flows in that emotional spectrum can be actually sensed and to a degree experienced firsthand by him too. It's moreso for Caelus to escalate the depth of his overall understanding, to take a moment to actually walk within their shoes or to pick up sharper on the angle of ill intent.

That said? This also opens the scale in which he gains an affinity for his abilities. Learning upon a technical level, the emotional and spiritual levels, enriching the 'veins' of this concepts is going to serve as a means of bolstering his personal strength. It's less from the grounds of 'powering up' and more like 'deeper understanding creating temperance and refinement'.

While for him personally, it opens that door or understanding the depth of how much emotion he personally feels. It holds a value not only in it's depth, but also it's quality in kind. Being able to discern from pettily made feelings to the sort of foundation that creates incredible wellsprings of resolve. This will open many more personal lessons he can come to take.

[everygame]

Dead Island: Definitive Edition (PS4)

Developed/Published by: Techland / Deep Silver Released: 31/05/2016 Completed: 10/11/2023 Completion: Finished It. Trophies / Achievements: 41%

After playing through Until Dawn and Dead Space I wanted to keep the Halloween theme going, and so, somewhat randomly (cough saw it was installed cough) chose to play this, and didn’t actually realize until I sat down that I went from Dead Space to Dead Island like I’m about to play a Dead Rising next or something (I’m not.)

This was a daft choice for the Halloween theme; When I think Halloween I think ghosts, witches, Draculas and that, probably in a spooky house, maybe doing the monster mash. Zombies on a tropical island? It just feels… unseasonal.

Of course, and to this game’s detriment, you only really enjoy the island resort vibes for really a couple of hours of this game, before you’re shunted into a pretty generic town with (boo!) lengthy sewers. (I suppose you do go to a jungle after that for a bit.) It’s all a bit emblematic of the game, which has a fairly enjoyable loot shooter-adjacent design (you don’t do a lot of shooting, mostly hitting zombies in the head with blunt objects)  but seems to suffer unforced errors all over the shop, some of which are, at best, very problematic???

I’ll start with that, actually. Developed by Techland, a Polish company, the game has incredible “I’ve never met a Black person” energy. I played through it as the rapper Sam B and he’s an absolutely brutal stereotype that makes Barrett in Final Fantasy VII look like a nuanced portrayal. It gets worse, however, as once you get to the jungle you start to deal with the local indigenous population, who are portrayed… just imagine all the stereotypes. Yeah, all of ‘em.

The narrative, overall, is a pretty unpleasant mess, with the male characters hideously unsympathetic (some really dark stuff is implied to have happened to one of the female characters, and the male characters’ response is actively hateful.) It makes the game literally impossible to recommend, and being originally developed in 2011 doesn’t feel like much of an excuse.

(Interestingly, the developers of Dead Island 2 worked with a diversity council to try and avoid these kind of problems, which would make me think “good on Techland” but Dead Island 2 was developed by entirely different developers and went through development hell for eight years. So that’s, uh, that.)

It’s all so… unnecessary, as well. As a loot shooter-like (is that a genre?) it’s not exactly like you’re there for any sort of story other than “survive” with most of the pleasure in getting bigger and better blunt objects to hit zombies in the head with. Even here, taken alone, it’s a bit hard to recommend. Combat is clumsy (I never felt satisfied in my understanding of either my or enemy attack distances) the loot is often insanely underwhelming, and the upgrade trees are a mess (there’s an entire tree for your “fury” power that I doubt any player of this game ever upgrades ever.) It almost feels like a shame losing interest in this before you’re halfway done (before the story starts getting really stupid) because the first hours are oddly well paced; the introduce human enemies with guns what felt like right at the point where you’d be getting bored with just hitting zombies, and it’s sad that it’s not long after that you find yourself stuck in boring, samey sewers for what feels like forever, and then you’re just stuck chewing through this until you finish it by defeating a hilariously underwhelming final boss.

Anyway. I played this so you don’t have to.

Will I ever play it again? I think the concept is strong, actually, zombie loot shooter-like, so part of me is like “Maybe Dead Island 2 is ok? I mean… different team! Diversity council!” but this was just so underwhelming I’m sure if I want a loot shooter-like I can do better somewhere else. And I’m definitely not interested in Techland’s own follow up, Dying Light.

Final Thought: Oh hang on, I just noticed I own Call of Juarez: Gunslinger, and that’s a Techland joint. But I own it, so I’ll have to play it. A game set in the old west? That can’t be problematic at all! I’m sure it’ll be fine!

Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi! You can pick up a digital copy of exp. 2600, a zine featuring all-exclusive writing at my shop, or join as a supporter at just $1 a month and get articles like this a week early.

[thejournaloffox]

Spinning in a direction

There will be metaphors.

Fox spent her morning contemplating how much she cherished the Lion, and how she ached from the discord of the morning, the foamy tides of time and circumstance crashing against her mind every time she tried to see her way out of their mutual frustration. Fox was worried. She worried about her choices and needs, second-guessing every moment of respite that didn’t involve pushing through. Every time she pushed, she felt as though the situation crumbled further instead of coming together—and yet, her mind could explore the dimensions of the ideal forever-future plans, the concepts and voiced thoughts all made sense.

And yet. She couldn’t tell if she was doing it all wrong, whether she had a right to her moments of weakness or inattention when she could not afford to indulge in her shortcomings, whether she should control herself more or less—almost nothing seemed to make sense in her lately. The Lion made sense, her passions made sense, a few other things; so much else was topsy-turvy. Ideally, even if she did take moments, it wouldn’t be to the detriment of the process or anything else. But she kept feeling like the choice she was facing was nursing unhealing wounds while everything burned or locking her feelings up tight while weathering the storm of progress. Neither option was appealing for different reasons, but striking a balance as she had so far yielded decidedly unsatisfying results. Things were progressing, things got done—deadlines were flying by like crazy.

Fox was not leaning into her best qualities at the moment. She found herself being argumentative in the same panicked tone that so reminded her of her mother. She saw herself being as helpless and listless in the face of the overwhelming challenges as her father. Critical without being expressive like her sister. Relying on memory, her weakest function, like her grandmother. And so on. Her toolkit seemed odd and deficient compared to the overall task at hand, and she didn’t fully understand how to make use of all the tools the Lion was lending to the situation, as finely-crafted as they are—the issue is with the artisan, Fox, not the expert tools of her beloved.

This morning, the Lion had observed the Fox has an unfortunate tendency toward fatalism, and that matched the intensity of her feelings. Those feelings shouldn’t intertwine with solutions, but the issue with the fatalist mentality is that it’s two extremes eclipse all the more moderate options along it’s axis. Fox saw the pattern, she could trace it back to a lot of components in her past which eventually lead to fatalism as a survival mechanic. “Push through or drop out, no two ways about it.” No wasted movement. But her system was systematically disregulated, her tools proving unreliable compared to her estimates—and her estimates themselves seem suspiciously off. Thing is, life is always more complex than any situation, which is almost always, where fatalism is unflatteringly applied, and that means that none of these sources and patterns matter as much as their ultimate cause: fear.

Fox was afraid the strife of the situation and the stress it caused would wear down the pack. She was afraid if she didn’t take over to the point of allowing for the Lion to get on with all the projects they had suspended at home it would turn into him feeling trapped and dragged down by her. She was afraid that her instability was turning her towards insecurity, and that he would sense it and feel caged—because Fox felt as though she never needed anyone like she did the Lion right now in these moments of her life.

Fox was growing an incredible amount, too. She was achieving things, she was motivated, and she was finding her footing in the whole process. But her grief was a snake coiling around her soul, it’s poison hollowing her out—and the only thing she could think to do was to accept all critiques with humility, swallow her pride, own the process. She didn’t know how to share such a responsibility, clumsily delegating and ignoring basic leadership rules. She realized she had been approaching the whole situation wrong straight out of the gate: she had responsibilities, and she needed help, but she had to be in charge. That meant delegating and sharing tasks, yes. But it also meant making sure that things are done in a timely manner, following up, sucking it up and making phone calls, getting involved in the Lion’s sleeping schedule enough to wake him on time. It meant a lot of pancaking, but Fox liked that, too.

More importantly, the Lion was not to blame for anything as Fox saw it, although she suspected she utterly failed to convey that in the way she expressed frustration instead of requesting specific solutions and providing him the necessary information for him to help her. She should have been utilizing his strengths instead of somehow arriving at the expectation of magicking the situation into working. She found herself more often than not regretting their arguments, feeling dissatisfied with her performance, and disregulated in ways she was not handling very deftly.

This morning, after she stormed off in a huff, Fox found herself contemplating what was and what is, invited to think on the subject after stumbling on an online conversation. The context was less important than the feelings and thoughts she wound up exploring: the Lion was a wild, joyous, independent being of magnificence—and Fox was and is delighted and happy every day of her life that he chooses her, and she him. It was a freedom that only existed in a populated universe, not in an echo chamber in the middle of an isolated woods. She could not follow the path of her mother, shutting off from so much for safety; Fox’s safety came from trust, demonstrable behavior, choice.

Choice also terrified Fox because she felt like right now, and lately, or maybe even in general, Fox is a charlatan, and not a great choice after all. She felt as though she would be revealed as inadequate, incompetent, and weak, because at the first sign of struggle, she felt her defenses might as well be wet tissue paper in lieu of kevlar. Fox was afraid she was losing a grip on herself because of her grief, and that her inability to work through everything she felt at the moment deep down would sabotage the things she cherished the most: her love, her life, her future.

Fox felt as though recently the Lion had been subtly probing her feelings, gauging how open she was in various ways. Did she want him all to herself to the point of clipping his proverbial wings in any way? Did she see and appreciate how devoted he was, and how she was slowing them down and how that affected him? There was no blame she could detect, only stress and tiredness—and clear indications that she was steering their ship toward a sandbank. She was invited to observe the ripples that indicate deep currents, ones that might see us safely out to open sea or strand us on an island in the middle of nowhere.

Fox was afraid of nowhere—and she found herself there more often than she would have chosen for herself had she known how. Now, she increasingly felt as though she had the stamina, temperament, and insight necessary to push her out of the darkness and into progress. But is it too little too late?

All Fox can say for sure is that she is fighting for the pack tooth and nail. She feels like a cub tossed into a hunt as the unexpected pack leader for the duration of a moonless night—and Fox prayed she could be the light to shine their way as they navigated through her ancestral obligations and gifts alike.

Fox is secure. Fox can do this. And Fox will have time to cry and be one with change and choice.

[cbuck215]

Readerly Exploration 6

Readerly Exploration 6 - Week 14 - 11/27/23

Rasinski (2012), “Why Reading Fluency Should Be Hot!” (CANVAS)

Applegate, Applegate & Modla (2011), “She's My Best Reader; She Just Can't Comprehend’: Studying the Relationship Between Fluency and Comprehension” (CANVAS) 

Big Takeaway

The big takeaway I think the authors wanted was that students are just being pushed for speed reading instead of both accuracy, fluency and comprehension, which is incredibly detrimental as they are able to read text, but not take anything away from it, either because they are too focused on the reading accuracy or speed itself, or because they are unable to read and comprehend at the same time.

Nugget

I think the nugget I got from these readings is that students are falling behind. While this concept is not entirely new, these readings helped reinforce the trend we are seeing in schools with students functioning at much lower levels than what they should be being at in their actual grade, which causes them to fall behind, lose motivation, and struggle as they grow up and need the skills they aren't learning more and more. When there is nothing to build on, you cant add more skills and expect students to just grasp things, so unfortunately there is just a struggle and cycle of lack of development due to the push to get as many kids caught up and together as possible, with or without cutting important learning corners.

Narration

First I read the articles and picked out the excerpts I wanted to use. Then I talked to my boyfriend about what I read in the texts and explained some of the concepts to them, as well as some pedagogical language, before summarizing a bit more about what we were going to be doing and why we were doing it. Then I set up a recording device and recorded his and my responses to the excerpts and each others responses, having a discussion with each other. With this, it was rather easy as he is in a family of teachers and hears from me about my adventures in school, as well as my rantings about the issues I see, and then we found it easy to talk about because he was able to understand what I was saying as well as speak from his own personal experience with his schooling and his heard stories. I found reading the study a bit difficult as always, those being hard to follow. What was fun about this was enjoying hearing my boyfriend’s thoughts as well as engaging him in discussions about what I am both learning and what we both see and hear about from school and family members, plus he said something really good towards the end about pushing kids through which made me think. I wanted to do this readerly exploration with him because of that reason, since I knew he’d have some form of context and connection with this topic, especially since he has shared before his complaints about the school system that he experienced. This exploration helped me think more about how we students my age today still may be affected by these schooling changes, and also the readings helped point out to me how far we are behind and how its only getting worse, so something needs to change, and it starts with this.

Explore relationships with other people through reading by using texts as a shared experience with another person/other people or to gain insight into the perspective of another person / Choose an excerpt from your assigned course reading(s) and share with a family (ish) member to get his or her insight and perspective on it.

“A growing number of studies are demonstrating that fluency is a major concern for students in grades 4 (Daane et al., 2005; Pinnell et al., 1995) and 5, in middle school (Morris & Gaffney, 2011; Rasinski et al., 2009), and in high school (Rasinski et al., 2005). Moreover, authentic fluency instruction as described earlier in this article has shown remarkable potential for helping a wide range of students beyond the primary grades improve their fluency, overall reading achievement, and motivation for reading.”

“The most obvious and disturbing element of these findings is that there may be a considerable number of teachers who are judging the reading proficiency of their students based solely on speed, accuracy, and prosody, divorced from thoughtful comprehension.”

Here is the audio recording of my discussion! It is sped up to fit (again sorry if it is too fast)

[thedrcom]

How to Fix Your Brain and Detoxify for Optimal Mental Health

The human brain is an extraordinary organ that governs our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. But what happens when our brain needs fixing? Whether you're experiencing brain fog, cognitive decline, or simply seeking to optimize your mental health, there are steps you can take to rejuvenate and detoxify your brain. In this blog, we will explore the fascinating world of brain transformation and provide insights on how to fix your brain and participate in the transformative "You Can Fix Your Brain Masterclass."

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When we talk about fixing the brain, we are referring to the process of optimizing its function, enhancing neuroplasticity, and promoting overall mental well-being. It's important to note that the brain is incredibly adaptable and capable of change throughout our lives. This concept of neuroplasticity forms the foundation of brain fixing.

How to Fix Your Brain: Practical Steps for Transformation

Assess and Address Your Lifestyle: Start by evaluating your lifestyle habits and making necessary changes. Focus on obtaining sufficient sleep, eating a brain-healthy diet, managing stress levels, and engaging in regular exercise. These factors play a significant role in brain health and can support its natural ability to heal and repair.

Exercise Your Brain: Just like physical exercise strengthens the body, mental exercises can enhance brain function. Engage in activities that challenge your cognitive abilities, such as puzzles, reading, learning new skills, or playing strategic games. This stimulates the brain and promotes neuroplasticity.

Manage Stress: Chronic stress can have detrimental effects on brain health. Explore stress management techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga, or engaging in hobbies that promote relaxation. This allows the brain to recover and promotes a sense of calm and clarity.

Nourish Your Brain: Consume a diet rich in nutrients that support brain health. Include omega-3 fatty acids, antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals in your meals. These nourishing elements can help protect the brain from oxidative stress and inflammation.

Detoxify Your Brain: Detoxification is a crucial aspect of brain fixing. Toxins, such as heavy metals and environmental pollutants, can accumulate in the brain and impair its function. Consider incorporating detoxification protocols, such as supporting liver health, consuming detoxifying foods, and practicing intermittent fasting under professional guidance.

Detoxify Your Brain: Cleansing for Mental Clarity

Detoxifying your brain is a powerful way to enhance its function and promote mental clarity. By removing toxins and reducing inflammation, you create an environment that fosters brain healing and optimization. Some methods to consider include: Eat Clean: Opt for organic and pesticide-free foods to reduce exposure to toxins. Focus on consuming whole, unprocessed foods that provide vital nutrients and support the body's natural detoxification processes.

Stay Hydrated: Proper hydration is essential for brain health. Drinking sufficient water helps flush out toxins and supports optimal brain function.

Support Liver Health: The liver plays a vital role in detoxification. Incorporate liver-supporting foods such as dandelion greens, beets, and cruciferous vegetables into your diet. Additionally, consider supplements or herbs that promote liver health under professional guidance.

Mindful Breathing and Meditation: Deep breathing exercises and meditation techniques can aid in detoxification by increasing oxygenation and promoting relaxation. These practices can reduce stress, support mental clarity, and optimize brain function.

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The "You Can Fix Your Brain Masterclass" is an immersive learning experience designed to provide in-depth knowledge and practical strategies for brain transformation. Led by renowned experts in the field, this masterclass covers a range of topics, including brain health, neuroplasticity, detoxification, nutrition, stress management, and more. Participants will gain valuable insights and tools to take charge of their brain health and embark on a transformative journey towards optimal mental well-being.

Conclusion: In conclusion, fixing your brain is an empowering process that involves lifestyle modifications, brain exercises, stress management, and detoxification. By adopting healthy habits, nourishing your brain, and participating in transformative programs like the "You Can Fix Your Brain Masterclass," you can unlock the potential for brain transformation and enjoy the benefits of optimal mental health. Remember, the brain possesses remarkable plasticity, and with the right knowledge and approach, you have the ability to fix and optimize your brain for a brighter and healthier future.

[navree]

What’s your biggest issue with the writing for HOTD? Is there any storyline or plot point that really weighed the rest of the writing down?

I really didn’t like the reconciliation PLUS the prophecy. I thought it under-minded 1) Alicent’s totally legit fear and terror (even if Rhaenyra is accepted as queen, no way would the rest of Westeros accept her sons - the future heirs - given their illegitimacy, not while Aegon and his siblings live.)

2) it also messed with Aegon’s arc imo. I know they’re not following the book to a t but what is his arc if not a reluctant king who took the crown not because of a prophecy, but because he wants to protect his family? That’s his tragedy, the family tragedy.

3) sometimes it feels like they’re writing from the end to beginning, so they make characters do things that don’t make sense. Why is Otto planning on killing Rhaenyra right off the bat? I’m sure he doesn’t particularly like her but his problem was never really with Rhaenyra. They have tradition on their side, Rhaenyra’s children’s illegitimacy that points to treason, and most importantly Daemon. Nobody wanted him near the throne that’s why Rhaenyra was named heir. Killing her is just asking for Daemon to retaliate. Otto’s not dumb.

And then, like you mentioned, Cole’s writing.

My biggest issue with the writing of the show overall is that, as I've mentioned previously, the writing is incredibly inconsistent. There are times when it does not feel like the writers are on the same page, especially when it comes to character traits and motivations, and that whoever is meant to be in control just isn't, and can't stop writers from doing their own thing episode to episode. This is largely because, again as mentioned, the writer's room for HOTD is sooooooo much larger than GOT's, and that's a detriment. For context, here is a list of every "written by" credit for Game of Thrones season 1:

As you can see, it's D&D, D&D, more D&D, Bryan for one episode and Martin for another (makes sense, he's the creator), and then more D&D. To contrast that, here is a list of every "written by" credit for House of the Dragon season 1:

Here, Ryan wrote the first two, then it goes off the rails with a veritable cavalcade of writers before Ryan writes the last episode. And that means writers are just doing their own thing and it's very jarring as a viewer when things just do not stay consistent in terms of who a character is and what they want from one episode to the next. Eileen Shim clearly doesn't like Aegon as a character and chose to introduce him in a very bad way. In the next episode, Sara Hess likes Aegon a lot more and wants his family to love him more too (and said smth remarkably stupid about how aegon's assault on dyana was analogous to a college kid being wasted and not understanding the concept of "absence of no is not a yes" which???? ma'am what????? but i digress). So that's the big overarching issue for me, and it was something I literally guessed at because it just felt so messy and then lo and behold, I was write, large writer's room.

In terms of specific storylines and plots, the prophecy tie-in is my nemesis when it comes to this show. I think it's just dumb in general, and part of a small pattern of dumb generic shit this show does (the White Hart is my other nemesis but that's not a plot that's just a stupid scene), but the one thing I hate is that it makes no sense. For one, there is zero connection between the Dance and the eventual invasion of The Others and the Battle for the Dawn we're going to see eventually and already have seen in GOT, and it makes no sense to try and connect the two at all when they are not going to come into play in any pivotal manner. For two, in case the writers forgot, this is a prequel to Game of Thrones. That's the reason why you're reusing key images and designs and sets and whatnot, because it's the same universe. And you know what? In that universe, the prophecy is meaningless! A Targaryen was not seated upon the Iron Throne! No prophecy mattered at all what mattered is that some random chick learned the pole vault and had a fancy knife (which somehow got from the Targaryen kings' weapons room to the hands of a man from a very very minor House? The prophecy isn't even a good tie-in because of how badly GOT fucked everything up.

And more importantly, it's just a dumb choice. Game of Thrones ended badly. It ended really really badly and everyone hated it and D&D are virtually unemployable and all their projects got cancelled including the racist ones and I don't even know if they've done any public appearances since it ended and GOT and all subsequent fandom and discussion vanished from the Earth because of how put off everyone was and it became immediately irrelevant and synonymous with a show that crashes and burns to the point where Lost or The Walking Dead or whatever looks like genius storytelling by comparison. That makes HOTD a show that needs to succeed in spite of its originator show, not because of it. It needs to make us all forget how godawful GOT was and remember what it was like when we enjoyed it and get that feeling back (probably why they reused the theme, which I'm less mad about than other people cuz franchises do that all the time, Star Wars is built on it). And they're making it a lot harder on themselves if they keep reminding us of stuff that only became relevant to the show when the show was already speedrolling downhill and just about to crash and burn. It's dumb. It's so dumb. It's not so dumb it's brilliant, it's just dumb.

I also have a some of issues with what they did with Aegon, and as you said anon I think I also would have preferred if they'd hewed closer to the book in the idea that Aegon didn't want to be king (still have him be vehemently against it and try to run and all that), but that he eventually agreed to take it when reminded that he has trueborn Targaryen children, Targaryen sons, and they won't be safe so long as Rhaenyra's on the throne with her bastards next in line. I'm more fine with the rapprochement between Rhaenyra and Alicent than some because a) hashtag rhaenicent and b) relationships aren't linear, and I think it's good drama. I like the idea that these two have spent sixteen years just in this cold war and being really petty and thinking low of the other, but there's this one moment after a while where maybe...just maybe...it could work out the way it might have before...And then it all comes crashing down (plus it's be good character work for Rhaenyra if they choose to develop it, leaving Alicent thinking that she's warming up and things might be okay and maybe they'll get some form of friendship back and then the next she hears Alicent stole the throne from her and put her son on it and then kept people locked up until they acceded to her demands to bend the knee only for Aegon and fight for Aegon and not her, @ HBO my hourly rate is like a penny I'm available!!).

Other things are smaller, and more along the lines of things that I personally would like to have seen or changed due to my own preferences and what I happen to enjoy (would developing daemon and laena's romance more have added anything or been necessary or useful in any way? no but i like them so i wanted more of them). But in terms of the big things, it's mostly just the prophecy plotline that I really hate, with some gripes about some of the things they did with Aegon. But hopefully someone scales down the writer's room and the big things are less of an issue.

[balillee]

my unpopular dsmp opinions, some of which genuinely should be popular

c!dream has crossed the moral event horizon and is irredeemable. once you cross that threshold, you're no longer a 'morally grey' character.

pre-recorded, heavily produced lore killed the lore. it was cool, sure, but you completely misunderstand the magic that the smp had when people watched it initially. the story is improv and that's how we like it. we can tell the cc's have lost interest in it, you can admit that to us, we'll understand, just stop lying to me.

c!dream's pov isn't necessary to understand his character or his motivations. if you've watched literally any c!primeboys stream he's basically spelled it out for you.

i don't understand how fans can dislike l'manberg or have claimed to be against it since the beginning. i honestly don't get it. what's so bad about wanting your own spot where you make your own rules and skirt accountability that has been used to technically oppress you before - and, before someone who never saw the earlier streams tries to disagree with this, the og l'manberg crew were imprisoned for shit that everyone else on the server was practically encouraged to do. also, what do you have against fun and happiness?

i think some of you forget that 'hybrids' aren't a thing, discounting c!ranboo. there's no piglin hybrids, c!techno is just a pig. there's no avian hybrids, c!phil is just a man with wings. there's no creeper hybrids, c!sam is just a creeper who's indecently exposed from the hips down. canonically there's no hybrids, and therefore no hybrid discrimination. people ran with that concept too much.

the loss and the fanon rewriting of the early lore up until pogtopia has ruined fandom perception of c!dream and the og l'manberg boys. c!tommy is more morally white than you think he is, and c!dream has always been a villain - he massacres and he kills and he destroys and he schemes and he always has broken his own rules. no wonder the boys wanted their own space after how they were treated.

i think ranboo oftentimes forgets his own lore. he brings stuff up that c!ranboo may have done, such as exploding the community house to frame c!tommy, holding onto Cat, and it goes absolutely nowhere. we've gotten all of these developments in his story but they have never been expanded on, and we're nowhere closer to figuring out his relationship to c!dream and what his other side is and honestly i see no hope that we'll be any closer to knowing even by the end of the year.

your characters don't all have to be morally grey for the story itself to be morally grey. this is fiction - some people can be nothing but evil and others can be nothing but good. being purely good or evil doesn't mean that you're one dimensional, either.

c!dream apologists have ruined c!dream for me. he's not a good person. how about you let me enjoy a villain for who he actually is, rather for than your percieved woobified ragdoll you pass off as c!dream.

the story was better when there was a central writer. it was brilliant back when wilbur wrote it to be that the environment drives the characters and the story, and it was really good in early s2 up until techno's execution day when it was more character driven. since then, the amount of autonomy people have over their characters without any central 'director', as it were, has been a detriment to the story overall. there needs to still be one overarching figure or director or writer.

not everyone is a main character. just because they have a pov, doesn't mean they're a main character. some characters have such little impact on the overall plot and describing everyone as a main character oversaturates the story and makes some characters seem more important than they are.

the egg lore had so much potential up until it didn't. all that built up threat that we were expecting and we still don't even know what the egg wants really other than just controlling people. does it hatch?

genuinely, if there's no major plot developments by the end of the year (and let's be honest, it's a very big possibility at this point), a few of the more prominent members of the server should do a podcast style stream talking about where the story would have gone, because at least then we would have gotten somewhat closer to a conclusion.

c!techno is a villain and an asshole and a bad person. he stops caring for people once their interests don't align with his or if they look at him funny. he makes meta-jokes about his own tyrannical and oppressive nature. stop taking that away from him. he's a bad person. cc!techno does a fabulous job portraying that in a comedic manner and the balancing of him being a deeply flawed person with deeply flawed morals and ideas with his comedically-portrayed stubbornness and lack of willingness to hear out opposing viewpoints is incredible. i want to like characters who are arseholes for the sake of being arseholes, and who refuse to take into account the hurt they've caused either out of self-righteousness or because they don't care, so let me. he's the anti-peacemaker, LET ME HIM ENJOY HIM FOR THAT!!!!

i think tommy and wilbur's way of doing lore is my favourite. relies heavily on improv, voice acting, sprite acting and facial expressions. really shows off the acting props and they pull off the emotional moments well for the insanity of the creative medium.

i'm not a fan of fan-music. i find songs about media i'm into difficult to listen to. coincidentally i'm also not a fan of shit like slam poetry or live music/musicals/pantomimes.

the death of l'manberg killed people's motivation to go on the server casually. i've talked about it more in depth before, but destroying what was a central, driving environment for the story killed momentum and motivation. imagine in an episode of she-ra, the princess alliance just nuke the freight zone and all of the members of the horde just have to deal with it. that would be shit.

until season 3 has some momentum, i'm counting the end of the smp as january 20th. that had a conclusion. season 3 has... whores, technoblade and tommyinnit. that's about it.

i wasn't a fan of the development of c!tubbo joining las nevadas. i preferred snowchester and the walled city conflict. give c!tubbo some backbone and some badassery. also tubbo where's the fucking nuke bro if you're shelving that plotline just tell us on like an alt stream what the plan was i beg

add like 2 or 3 new people to the server so that michael mcchill has someone to talk to and so that there's something always happening on the server. it gives the og's more motivation to return if things are happening in and out of canon and it'll help with momentum, and who knows? maybe they can write their own story/stories.

i really think that c!sam is an underrated character. he's multilayered, extremely interesting, and the dichotomy of his loyalty to his job and how far down the rabbithole that's taken him versus the genuine love he has for his friends that drives him to do what he does out of wanting to do right by them is brilliant. i don't talk about c!sam enough.

STOP HAVING FUCKING VILLAIN ARCS!!! I'M FUCKIN SICK OF IT!!!! i want to see more characters who see everyone else being absolute selfish, abhorrent cunts and go 'if nobody else is going to be a good person, i fucking will'. GIVE ME SOME MORAL WHITENESS!!! IT'S INTERESTING AND MORALLY GOOD CHARACTERS ARE FUN!!!

let tommyinnit build cobblestone towers. everyone bullied him too much for how ugly they were and the one he built outside of the prison looked genuinely really nice. it gives the boy something to do.

i'm a fan of the revive book and the canon lives system. don't ask me why, but i think it might just be the morbidity of it. it adds to c!dream's god complex persona, and i think the fragility of death itself is a really fun concept. not enough fan cc's have made connections with that and c!mumza, and it could make for cool fanfic.

ranboo your house is fucking ugly. it's an eyesore

c!niki, and to some extent now c!jack and c!fundy, are boring me and ruining my mood. i think c!jack is the closest to being an actually interesting sympathetic villain, mainly because nobody else seems to realise that c!niki is a villain. not a good one imo, but she's a villain. c!jack just has the problem of starting a new project over and over and over and over again and because of the slow in momentum for the primary cast, there hasn't been a lot of recent development for him.

not really a dream smp opinion, but if philza went full geordie accent, i would love it. i want him to, in canon, say shit like 'me n ye' instead of 'me and you' and use geordie dialect. i want him to be physically unintelligible because it's funny.

i don't really know what's up with c!foolish but i think he's a dumbass. he had a while to think about c!q's proposal and then changed his mind about joining the guy to admitted to letting him die just because. moron

i wish there was more c!eret lore. i wish he was an actual king with an actual kingdom and actual subjects and royal advisors. c!eret is far too fucking cool to be the king of nothing and nobody. fatten up the kingdom and the castle with people who work with c!eret, and don't just make it tyrannical and dictator-y to prove the point of the server's 'anarchists'. make it a healthy working environment, please - if you want moral greyness, have 'anarchists' who claim to care about the welfare of the server oppose a kingdom of happy people under a fair and just ruler because their ideologies clash.

the server needs more characters who oppose anarchy in more peaceful ways, or passively wish for systems to be a part of. i think a chaos vs order conflict ending only in mutual understanding where everyone understands that they should just leave each other alone would slot nicely into the story that's been created so far.

you need to have watched all of the previous arcs to understand the story. i've seen people argue that they don't need to know about earlier lore to understand the prison, but that's the equivalent of only watching the final season of pretty little liars and expecting to understand the context of what's going on.

some characters aren't that morally grey. some characters, take c!tommy for example, are definitely on the whiter side for the morality scale, he's just an asshole. he's abrasive and rude and a dickhead but he also doesn't agree with terrorism, he's patriotic, he strives for a better world, he's apologetic, but he's also a fucking BITCH.

you can add onto this if you want, but not if you're a c!dream apologist. nobody likes your opinions

[twinvictim]

your opinions on each of the post team silent games and a rating out of 10. hand 'em over

YEAHHHHHH FINALLY CATERING TO ME!!!

Uh really long post oops. for reference, my rating for the first 4 sh's are as follows

Sh1: 9/10 Sh2: 7/10 Sh3: 9/10 Sh4: 9.5/10

Silent Hill 0/Origins

overall score: 7/10

Alot of the games issues can of course be attributed to it being a psp game, and while i won't excuse everything bc of that, j have to be honest and say I think it had so much potential as a (very) late ps2 game. Not to mention, the game ON THE PSP functions as it should. (The ps2 port does fucking not tho..oops) ans you'll see that this is...a rarity post team silent.

The story has alot of potential, Travis as a character is interesting and sympathetic and j think his dynamic with alessa js super fascinating to dig into, both of them being abused children and there was alot of intrigue regarding his powers, the game feels like a smaller more watered down she, and for that I can't fault it too much. The weapons system isn't my favorite but the combat itself is reminiscent of 1 and 2 and I really like a good chunk of the monster design, there was clearly thought and care put into it, nurses and strughtjackets/lying figures be dammed. The unlockables are pretty cool though and alot of the environments look pretty cool for a psp game, hell i LOVE the theater level its super unique, I would love to see it in (actually functional) better graphics. I also think the puzzles are pretty solid, not hair pulling like sh1 even if they're not quite as clever as say sh3.

My biggest criticisms come from the reuse of sh1 characters (just alessa and Travis would've been fine, maybe dahlia and some more org characters would've been better) the bad ending being straight up bad writing. Not to mention they did the sh3 thing of "kill too many monsters and get the bad ending" which is...stupid. The foreshadowing of the butcher being? He's just kinda there, I like the lead up but it would be more interesting if the butcher represented something from those years between Travis' father dying and him being an adult. And while there's more replayability imo than sh2, it doesn't have difficulty sliders and that makes it kinda hard to come back to quite as often. Not to mention unlike sh1, 3or sh4 there's not as much horror focus and random events.

Overall, solid game its fun to play, very silent Hill and if you're willing to look past a few continuity errors and accept its a little different and slightly derrivitive at the same time, I like to say I had alot of fun with it and still do. (Maybe I just like Travis alot...idk)

Silent Hill: Homecoming

Overall score: 6/10

Once again most of the issues here are gonna be corporate fuck ups, but I'm also not gonna beat around the bush, this game isn't like...good. its bad actually. "But you gave it a 6/10?" Yeah bc its not NEARLY as bad as some other games I've.. experienced.

The negatives here are, many and vast, so let's run them down. Firstly the games performance is janky on console (ps3 at least) and abysmal/unplayable on PC, what with framerate issues that are detrimental to game play on pc and make the third boss impossible. That said on console it is completable and not even too terrible...usually. Scarletts boss fight however is terribly unbalanced and broken on all skews so :/. The combat is...functional but not anyone's favorite, it's difficult to use any actually strong weapon and you can pretty much strong arm ur ways through shit with just the knife (except scarletts first form..don't try it, it won't work) for some people this will be borening (not my opinion but w/e). Most of The puzzles...leave alot to be desired. I hate sliding block puzzles. Also no run button? At all?? No easy mode? Ok... also what is this.. wheel design for the inventory...im accidentally using my serum..what is serum also? And why is the item pickup noise like...bass boosted.

The character models look awful most of the time, and comically unfinished other times, some human models are just grotesque, (judge halloway, Adam shepherd, mayor Bartlett. .you get it) and yes...there are sexy nurses. Bc of course there are. (Whole ass out???) They did straight up have some terrible endings for this game (ph ending for one, the way you get the ufo? Hell the ufo ending is kinda boring. I like the in water ending here too but. Yeah.) the story has some, problems. To say the least.

However, while the performance is bad its not the worst I've played (on the ps3 once again..unplayable on pc) and I hardly noticed the framerate when I was just running around, I personally found the combat kinda fun, between trying to dodge accurately and still attack and not use all my health items (bc those and ammo are actually rare! Unlike some games...) it is kind of a challenge and reminds me of a much worse sh4. And hey, the health items both heal an understandable amount of health that i can easily read with a bar (unlike 1-3) and they're not a complete joke (unlike sh4...) i find the exploration really fun and sure the characters look shit but the environments are Fucking great. The church is one of my fav sections, short as jt might be and yes it stole the confessional scene but its pretty well written and acted I think. The monster design is pretty fucking rad too honestly, I like the schism, siam, I like the DESIGN of the needlers even if they make me so mad to fight, and hey the nurses and ph don't show up that much to be too aggregious. The boss monsters are also fantastic design wise, very unsettling and the boss rooms are interesting as well.

The story has problems but it also has alot of potential, the concept of people sacrificing ther children for silent Hill and being overcome by their own pain and guilt is pretty fucking cool, and alex is a good character they did a good job of giving him personality, ppl bitch about him being a soldier but a) he's not and b) soldiers are people too, and a sh game that could tackle toxic masculinity, be critical of the military, and also tackle abusive religeious parents is pretty intriguing, not to mentions themes of brotherly love that's complicated bc of how they clearly favored Josh . Sure, it misses the mark, but I like taking the potential and thinking about it bc its compelling to me. And like I said, i like alex alot.

Overall, bad game yes, but not the worst as it has enough good for me to honestly really enjoy it, besides it is pretty funny when it is bad. Don't play the pc port tho

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

Overall Score: 8/10

Unpopular opinion im sure but honestly? I find this game ALMOST on par with the team silent games. Its really that good, yes its a wii game, so this is my score taking into account the motion controls BTW.

For the good, man where do i start. Its BEAUTIFUL for a wii game and esp for a post team silent game, the graphics are nice and Constsitent, the environments are pretty and it has a pretty nice cold color pallet to contrast the warmer tones the series tends to skew towards. The acting and intrgrige are all on point and the WRITING is fantastic, its one of those games you play the first time not knowing the twist and play the second time picking up more and more clues and things that strengthen that twist so much more. Like sh2 its a simple story told in such a clever and interesting way that you'll probably be too invested to put it down, I beat it in one sitting in 6 hours bc i was so engrossed in the narrative. And the Puzzles man! The puzzles are phenomenal and fun to accomplish and there's even a little bit of variety in a few places on repeat playthroughs. The level of detail in this game is insane really, the things that change with the different psychology answers are pretty cool too and tho it all plays out relatively the same its still fun to see the different things you can get to happen. The gimmicks like the phone as an object, taking pictures, sneaking and zooming in, they're not too intrusive as to take away from the exploration or other game play but not completely useless and have some pretty fun Easter eggs too. The game plays sort of like a worse outlast with good puzzles and for that I do have to commend it. Oh and the fucking MUSIC is INCREDIBLE idk something ab this soundtrack has alot of heart put into it clearly.

Now, it's not perfect. The thing is, it is a WORSE outlast type game, in the running and hiding sense but well, the hiding is completely useless, its a run away game, which is ok, but I understand that people aren't gonna be a big fan of that when silent Hill has always balanced combat ad puzzles and exploration. The running segments are..aggravating, mostly bc its hard to figure out where to go, not to mention using motion controls that don't like to work half the time to fight the monsters off of you. Also, the monsters are not scarey in the slightest and the raw shock scream is actually enragaging if you've died one to many times, there's also...not really any penalty for dying. And once you're out for these running segments,there's no danger, no monsters, nothing to hide from despite having a hiding mechanic. Its not really a horror game more of a psycological thriller and I understand that the fact that its not horror can be disappointing. The psychology things might be a bit overhyped And yeah fine, the wii foreplay scene...well yeah its weird but it IS also funny as fuck.

That said, there's still alot thats good and alot thas unfair criticism lobbed at this game. Harry didn't have much of a personality in sh1 bc he's a ps1 character and sm really fleshed him out well, not to mention giving cybil some nice characterization, and they did some interesting things with dahlia and kaufmann. And Lisa.. well I'm gonna be honest I never found Lisa all that interesting in sh1..so it doesn't bother me that she's the way she is in this game. I know people hate the "horny" aspect of it but to be completely fair, YOU choose to make the game that way, don't answer in a sexual manner or look at boobs or anything else and you won't have an overly sexual game, its...literally that easy. Its given as an option for the play id they want to go for what is arguably another joke ending. (You cannot tell me sleeze and sirens is meant to be a real serious ending to the game. Cmon) and you can complain about the innacuuracies if you want but its a spin off, a retelling of the original game. Its not canon, and it didn't change the original game. It just took the ideas presented there and made them more human and lest fantastical, there's some supernatural elements but it takes a backseat to the human moments. And its honestly really cool.

Overall, great game, i reccomend it if you don't mind some slight jank with the motion controls and honestly? Look up directions on where to go for the running segments and you'll have a pretty good time overall.

Silent Hill Downpour

Overall score (so far): 7.5/10 *to be noted i haven't finished actually playing it yet but I know the basic plot and some of the details so I doubt it'll change

And so for the final silent Hill Game, I have to say, i don't think it deserves NEARLY the hatred it gets, there's alot about it that i find really cool and even fun and I think its a solid entry, a little better than origins in some parts and its downsides are both unfortunate and once again, mostly Konami's fault . That said, I'm also not gonna kid and say its a good game, just that I like it alot and we should be nicer to the last silent Hill game were probably ever gonna get.

Downpour has a pretty good, original story overall, there's alot to it, alot of intricacies and intrigue to it that honestly make it a pretty sold silent Hill game. Its different enough from the others to stand out but not super far removed from its themes and messages. I like that it doesn't try and lean into the cult aspect and tries to do something else with it, it doesn't try to explain silent Hill, but just use it to torment the characters, as it should be. There's tragedy ad human feelings here and some of them aren't the most...sensitive but they are pretty reasonable reactions id say. Playing as someone who's odds are stacked against him from the beginning as he's a prisoner is a cool way to open the game, someone convicted and you must discover if he is a good person or not. Themes of revenge explored more than in sh3 which is pretty cool. The environments look pretty nice, and i like the look of the otherworld, once again being unique with its cooler color pallet, but without the ice so it really feels like its own thing. The EXPLORATION is awesome with an actual open world which I think works well, there's alot to do in town (unlike sh1 and 0 on limiting hardware and 2 which just pretends you can explore to town but you cant) there's alot for cool little stories and sidequests to do, my favorite so far being the cinema (which has a section of ACTUAL fixed cameras like old Resident evils which is smth SH has never done and its super fucking cool!) And all the sidequess help strengthen murphy as a cheacter and argue for his innocence or complexites. The weapons system is pretty cool, picking up items and attacking with whatever you might find, finding cool Easter eggs with exploration and having fun noticing things. And it does honestly have the strongest side characters outside of SM. The puzzles are pretty solid and fun to figure out with some cool mechanics and the seperate difficulties is a great thing to bring back (actually done well like sh3) I also kind of like the method of triggering the night world/rain/monsters, and silent Hill really feels likes its constantly punishing Murphy, as it should. The music might not be Akira but its still pretty damn good, and fuck yall I like the Korn song, and you CAN press start and skip it yknow. (Thx tomm hewlit)

The negtitives tho, well they are there. For one it has the worst performance of any sh game outside of pc homecoming and like...the hd collection, the framerate like to shit itself alot lmao, its not usually detrimental bc I've played re2r with similar framerates but, yeah its not great. Not to mention while the models look better than hc they don't animate well or often at all, and the game has trouble loading in the models as fast as they should. The sound mixing could use...some work too, poor murph sounds like he's eating the mic. While I find the games exploration really fun, murphy also has the issue of not running very fast so it can be a little annoying to get back to a place you want to be when you can't run that fast, not to mention the loading times. The monster design is def the worst in the series, maybe on par w SM. Which is disappointing bc there's some pretty good moments here and there, but not nearly enough to make it scary and there's so much you can do with monsters with this premise. Also, the running sections in the otherworld are better than SM ad even more engaging than the brief ones in 2 and 3, but still, I'd prefer to do puzzles or fight a boss or smth. I will also say, the endings are, iffy while the main 2 endings are really good and Anne's bad ending as well as the joke ending are great, murphys bad endings are weird and ooc for the muphy you come to know in the game (even more so than Origins) plus, idk that the writers knew all that much about prison andbprison culture, nobody in a real prison would be mad ab Murphy killing a pedo (there's some racist implications here and there too which is. Unfortunate and disappointing. I like Howard and Robbie but they are a bit tropey, esp Howard) that said Anne is a compelling albeit unlikable character and thas pretty cool to see pulled off.

Overall, while it has downsides, I don't think Downpour is worthy of all the scorn it gets, this can have problems and you can point them out without disregarding the good parts and while it is unfortunate it doesn't run better and have some extras and didn't handle some things great, I still think its worth a playthrough, esp if you go out of your way to do the sidequests.

Bonus round

Book of memories is not a game I intend to play bc I don't wanna get a vita and can't imagine I'm missing much. It doesn't look bad pwr say but I'm not interested tbh

Fuck PT. :)

[moviewarfare]

A Review of “Tenet (2020)″

It's weird to finally be watching a movie in the cinema after so long but Tenet was a film that I have been wanting to watch for ages! I am a huge fan of Christopher Nolan and watch nearly every single film that he has made. Even his less well-received movies such as "Interstellar" still wowed me in some capacity. Dunkirk, his previous movie, disappointed in some ways and not because it was bad, far from it, but because it was rather tamed and grounded compared to his crazy, mind-bending movies such as Inception. Tenet was him bringing back this craziness and return to the time concept again. The question though is if this film was worth returning to the cinema for? The premise is simple, a secret agent embarks on a dangerous, time-bending mission to prevent the start of World War III.

Firstly, I got to praise the originality of this movie. Yes, it is a spy espionage movie and borrows a lot of element from the previous movies of the like. However, the use of "Inversion" really adds a layer on top of this movie and makes it feel like no other movie has. This "inversion" is best seen in the action sequences which result in some visually stunning spectacles. On that note, the action sequences are phenomenal from the car chase to the plane crash and my favourite being the fight scene between the protagonist and an inversion soldier. It's even more impressive when you realise that most of these action scenes are practical and not CGI which benefits the movie by not taking the audience out of it and keeping as glued to what's going on.

Unfortunately, legendary composer Hans Zimmer does not return for Tenet and is instead replaced by Ludwig Göransson of Black Panther and Mandalorian fame. Despite that, Ludwig gives an impressive electronic score that elevates every scene and is deafening in a good way. If you didn't know Hans Zimmer was not scoring this movie and watched it, you still probably would think Hans Zimmer was still scoring it. The story is also intriguing enough to keep the audience engaged. It is simple with the agents having to prevent the "Russian" bad guy from dooming the world! However, the inclusion of inversion does add an extra element to the plot and makes the audience think about the movie. Even after it was finished, I was still thinking about the movie. The inversion adds an element of unpredictability to the movie and starts to change the way the movie operates. However, this inversion doesn't take focus until halfway through the movie. For the first hour, it is just a spy espionage movie with a lot of exposition and setup but the second half goes into high gear and is when it gets really good.

The actors are for the most part give really good performances. Special mention to Elizabeth Debicki as "Kat" who gives an emotive performance of a woman who is practically in a domestically abusive relationship. John David Washington as "The Protagonist" (yes seriously...) has the suave and coolness from an agent spy, Robert Pattinson as "Neil" gives a lot of charm and wit to his performance and Kenneth Branagh as "Andrei Sator" is frightening in his performance as the villain. 

One major flaw about the movie, in my opinion, is the characterisation. You can already see this when the main character's name is never mentioned whatsoever in the movie. Apart from Kat (Elizabeth Debicki ) and Neill (Robert Pattinson), to a certain extent, are very bland and one dimensional. The protagonist (John David Washington) is the "good guy" and doesn't have anything else from that. We don't know his backstory, his feelings or even his real name for that matter. The character doesn't even have that big of a reaction to the inversion thing either and can feel rather robotic. Andrei Sator (Kenneth Branagh) suffers from a similar aspect to the protagonist is an over the top Russian bad guy and wants to end the world and wants to control his wife. There are some other supporting characters introduced in the movie and sadly they also are lacking in depth. The only emotive aspect in this movie is the abusive relationship between Kat and Andrei Sator. However, apart from that the movie very lacking in a lot of humanity and emotional moments.

The second major flaw is the sound mixing in this movie. The voices of the actors are just so muffled or rather low sometimes which makes it hard to hear what they are saying. This gets even more difficult when the characters are wearing a mask or have incredibly strong accents like Kenneth's Russian accent. Occasionally, the loud music score is really loud during conversations between characters. This is quite detrimental to the movie as every dialogue is really important to understanding the movie and not being able to hear it because of weird sound mixing is not great.

A minor flaw is the "inversion" explanation. It is still quite confusing to understand and while it is explained in the movie to a certain extent, it can still leave you rather confused and dumbfounded. It isn't a major problem as it gives a rough idea of the concept and in the end, this rough understanding is all that's needed to enjoy the movie. Just like a character says in the movie "Don't try to understand it, Feel it". Although, that is kind of a blatant reason for the director to not explain everything... Overall, the movie was a blast to watch. It is a bit weaker compared to Nolan's previous movies but is still stunning to watch. It is a grandly entertaining movie that is an absolute spectacle. I highly recommend considering watching it in a theatre as this movie is best experienced there in all its glory.

[polandspringz]

I’ve been wanting to share my thoughts on this for a while, and maybe I did already but I just forgot, but it’s about Jujutsu Kaisen.

I love JJK, and obviously many others do too. I haven’t read all of the Shibuya arc, but based on everything I’ve seen I do think it is incredibly interesting the way the series is delving into such dark themes and making it’s protagonist battle the idea that the world would be better off if he just didn’t exist anymore. I think a lot of Shounen anime have moved towards these themes recently, but JJK is the most prominent one to pull it off successfully. Anyway-

I understand where people are coming from where they call it the next big shounen or the best new shounen manga in recent years. It’s a newcomer that’s filled the space of Demon Slayer and probably will fill the space of BNHA when it ends. However, a Youtuber I watch (Mother’s Basement) made a 40 minute video the other day calling it “peak shounen anime” and I haven’t been able to watch it yet because-

I’ve just felt so frustrated with my feelings on the series since I think it had a very shaky set up? The first episode (and what I assume is the pilot chapter of the manga) is incredible. It establishes the relationship between Fushiguro and Itadori, and that becomes the main stake in the rest of the series. You would probably think my complaint then comes in the two of them being separated a few episodes later when Itadori “dies”, but that’s not it either. While I do think it disrupted a bit of what was the drive of the series and got people invested in it, overall the way the author handled the grief of Fushiguro and Nobara and had the stories progress in separate locations was well done. However, I think all the worldbuilding in between all of that sort of made the series drop for me.

I know this is common when series go from a pilot chapter to weekly, but when the schools were introduced in JJK, I felt like we were dealing with an Owari no Seraph situation. The author didn’t seem to know what to do with the school, like they attended it, but there aren’t any classes, they just seem to go on field trips all the time, but there isn’t an explanation for that, we just sort of assume that’s all they do. It was set at a school just because... that’s what you do in shounen anime to relate to the demographic. And then the second point in the series that made my opinion of it drop even more was when the Kyoto students were introduced. While I do think they are entertaining, the episode (and maybe this is just MAPPA’s directing fault since I’m using the anime as an example) where Fushiguro and Todo interact bored me to death. There was no emotional weight, it was just a random new goofy character to fight with. At that point I was begging for Itadori to get back in the picture, but we were only around half way through the first cour at that point, and Itadori didn’t come back until around episode 13. Basically, I just felt like, outside of the relationships between the main trio, the series struggled to introduce new characters and the concept of it’s world at first, which gave me a very bad impression of the series.

But, then again, the reason I’m so torn about bringing this up is I can’t seem to decide on whether or not this bad set up should be viewed as a detriment to the rest of the series. Once things got going, they certainly do improve, and while I really still don’t care much for the side characters, again I’m not sure if that should dock so many points from my opinion of the series. Right now, I just seem to be stuck in this idea whenever I hear someone call it the best series of going like, “but the beginning was so bad though?” Maybe someone can help me balance my thoughts out.

[jungleuniversity]

How I Improved My MCAT Score (509 -> 518)

Hi Everyone! I got back my new MCAT scores awhile ago, but I thought I’d write a post about how I achieved my score, with hope that it could potentially help another student. I know that while I was studying, a lot of the advice I saw on the internet was overwhelming and made me feel that my level of studying would always be inferior to what others were doing. The vast array of available courses, practice tests, and other services available certainly did not help either, as there is no reasonable way to complete every single resource that exists. In this post, I’ll go through a timeline of my basic study plan and explain which resources I used and why I think they are worth using. 

Stage 1 - Kaplan 7 book set and other content resources

I had trouble coming up with a time frame for how long it should take to go through the Kaplan set, which is why I simply called this part the “first stage.” Many guides I have read online mention strictly separated “content review” and “practice exam” phases of studying. Personally, that would never have worked out for me because I would have gotten anxious every time I got a question wrong during the exam phase. Instead, I spent about 3-4 months simply reading and taking notes out of the books, and then doing a mixed exam and content review stage. I used each book in the following ways, especially the second time I studied: 

Biochemistry - For the first half of the book I took detailed notes as if I were learning from an ordinary biochemistry textbook for a class. For the second half, I eased on the notes and started drawing out the different pathways. I think I wrote down the Electron Transport Chain pathway 10-15 times and the Citric acid cycle path about 50 times. I did not draw the shapes of compounds, but I won’t tell you not to do that either. 

Biology -  Same as the Biochem book. I did spend extra time on “high yield content” that's more difficult to memorize, such as actin/tropomyosin activity in muscle. 

Physics - I cannot stress what I am about to say enough. The absolute most important things to know from this book are the units. If you are truly stuck on a physics (or often chemistry) question, there is a very good chance you can use dimensional analysis to force your way to the right answer in a relatively brief amount of time. If nothing else, PLEASE learn the units behind every concept. 

Chemistry - Use the advice from physics, but I also took pretty heavy notes, especially in the first half, since there’s a lot of content that, despite being easier than biochemistry in my opinion, are foundational and will cause problems if you skip it. 

Behavioral Sciences - This was the section that brought down my first attempt score. I found that the premed95 anki deck that’s in circulation was helpful, but it made me incredibly lazy in studying to the point where I would pretend to be productive, while just looking at slides. I was desperate not to repeat my mistakes, so I brute forced my way through the Kaplan book this time instead. I didn’t take notes the way I did for other subjects - instead I hand wrote every single bolded word and definition in a notebook, organized by chapters. This took about a week and I did not study any other subject during this time. I don’t know if I would recommend this method for Behavioral Sciences for everyone, but the truth is that after I did this, my practice section scores went from 124 to 128-130. One thing to keep in mind though, the last few sections of the Physics/Math book are absolutely critical to the Behavioral Sciences section as they are the only resource within the Kaplan set which explain the research methodologies for both Psychology and Sociology. 

Organic Chemistry - I took sparse notes on this book. I think it's the least useful out of the 7 book set, and I often had to look to the internet and old organic chemistry class notes to clarify mechanisms and pathways. Nevertheless, make flashcards or write down reactions such as the Aldol condensation, which more likely than not will show up at some point. 

CARS - Skip this book. In my opinion, there are better ways to study this section. Most importantly, use the CARS question packs from AAMC. 

Stage 2 - CARS, Mixed Content Review and Practice Exams (2-3 weeks)

This is around when I started taking CARS much more seriously, so I would recommend starting earlier. I mainly focused on using the two AAMC question packs, although the KhanAcademy passages were also useful. The first question pack was definitely a bit more difficult and you might feel discouraged after going through half of it. However, I promise it does get better. Part of the change is that as you read explanations for why you get questions wrong, your skill will begin to improve. The other part is that the second half of the question pack, as well as most of the second question pack are more closely aligned with the difficulty level of the actual test. 

This was also when I began taking NextStep full length exams. (Insert surprised Pikachu face) My first score was a 501. Definitely not expected at the time, but it was a necessary wakeup call to understand where my content gaps were. 

After each exam I took from this point on, I would take the rest of the day off after taking the exam. Just relax, after taking a 7 hour exam, you deserve it tbh. The next day, go over the entire exam, question by question and take notes where you need to. I wrote very brief 1-line notes for questions I got right and understood, and more detailed notes for all incorrect questions as well as correct questions that I did not fully understand. This is important for two reasons: First, this allows you to know exactly where your content gaps are and understand how you can improve applying the concepts that you already know. Second, there’s only so many different things they can ask you on the MCAT. It might sound endless, but there are a finite number of concepts and you are bound to see very similar questions on future practice tests and also on the real MCAT. In my experience, writing down the explanation for the correct answers on missed questions ensured that I never get a similar question incorrectly in the future. Overall, next-step exams were alright, but their content felt incredibly low-yield. Now, studying low yield concepts is extremely important, but it's obviously detrimental if that's all you study. 

For the next month, I would alternate between taking next-step and AAMC full lengths, with breaks in between to review my content gaps. My highest Nextstep exam was a 512, but I tended to score around 507-508. My aamc exams, in order, were 519, 517, and 515. The downward trend was concerning, but I was honestly happy since all of those scores were higher than my target at the time, 513. Also, I falsely began to think that NextStep exams were extremely deflated. (They are, but not nearly to the extent that you might think.)

Finally, the day before my first exam: I couldn’t sleep at all, and I went against common advice of not studying on this day. As for exam day, just trust yourself and the studying you have done. My main advice beyond what anyone else will tell you is to keep a close eye on the clock. Several people who tested with me lost up to 5 minutes on CARS because they forgot to take into account the time during their lunch break. Not every test center will have digital clocks, and the one I went to only had a tiny analog clock near the area they check you in. When I asked a proctor for the time, he just laughed. So make sure you look at the clock and remember the time when your break starts. 

My score on the first exam turned out to be a 509. Not necessarily a bad score at all, but this score was much lower than what I was aiming for. It was disappointing, mainly due to the time I put into studying, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. My behavioral sciences section severely pulled my score down, and there were a few content areas that I truly was not prepared for. I felt bad about it for about a week, and afterwards started studying again. 

Stage 3: Final Preparations 

Initially, I found it relatively difficult to study during the semester. One of my friends recommended I use UWorld questions to effectively use my time. This resource definitely helped me out when I felt like I simply did not have enough time to finish studying. They provide you with 1500 or so questions, categorized by section and sub categorized by topic. You can choose how many questions or passages you want to do in one sitting, and if you want it timed or not. After you finish, they provide you with personalized statistics for the session, as well as explanations for each question, which are saved and can be viewed at any time. Alongside simply rereading the Kaplan books, this is the best way to reinforce content knowledge. 

The final resource I used were the Altius exams. I purchased a pack of 5 on a whim because 1) I ran out of practice tests and 2) someone on reddit said these were severely under-appreciated. Well, that gamble paid off because I believe these exams are about as close as you can get to the AAMC full lengths, BUT they give you much more detailed explanations, and are just a little bit more difficult, so you actually end up feeling like the AAMC practice exams are a bit smoother and easier to pace yourself on. After purchasing, I had one month to take all five, as well as the then-recently-released AAMC FL #4. Altius exams were great, and honestly, my only “complaint” was that CARS felt a little bit too difficult to be as useful as it could be. I also studied Behavioral Sciences and Biochemistry the way I described in Part 1, since I felt like I underperformed on those sections. 

When second exam day approached, I forced myself to get a full night of sleep this, and it absolutely paid off. I was noticeably more aware during this test than my previous attempt, and corrected myself before making a bunch of silly errors. 

A month later, I found out I got a 518, which was higher than my original goal. 

Tl;dr: 

Studying for the mcat is expensive, and it can be hard to find advice on which resources are useful. 

In my opinion, only: Altius exams are amazing. UWorld is a great resource for content gaps and reinforcement, especially when you have sharp time constraints. Kaplan books are awesome for content review, but it should be fine if you buy an older edition (I used 2015).

[endlessdoom]

Sacrament

14 maps by Clan [B0S] of the russian community.

2011

https://doomwiki.org/wiki/Sacrament

MAP01: Reposa In Pace by Slavius

Sacrament is a particularly special map that stands out for its unorthodox factors to the traditional, and boy does it show it! MAP01 is an interesting environmental proposal with a tight, labyrinthine design that enjoys losing the player in a new world more than throwing him into combat. 3/5

MAP02: Doxylamine Moon by Lainos

Iconic in the history of the game and I can easily see why. This is a huge map that represents an incredibly detailed city with a deep and vast opportunity for exploration in every area. That, coupled with an excellent setting make this a map that is hard to forget. 4/5

MAP03: Dirtyllery by Wraith

Confusing at times but with more combat than previous maps and a fairly interesting design that combines a variety of rooms, offering an interesting progress system that, although it gets lost at times, is manageable. 3/5

MAP04: Phobia by Dr. Max

More direct than the previous ones and with a comprehensive layout that offers exploration and combat under an atmospheric, yet distinctive, presentation compared to the rest of the maps. 4/5

MAP05: Lavatraz by Wraith

A fortress in the middle of a lava lake surrounded by a large crowd of enemies. This is an intense map with enough combat to satisfy those who want a bit of a fight, while maintaining a good flow and offering excellent presentation for combat. 4/5

MAP06: Pandora's Box by Archi

Large and expansive, with huge open areas and an iconic start through a shadowy tunnel. Fantastic map, with good combat and many areas to explore as well as many fights to participate in. 4/5

MAP07: Arena by Dragon Hunter

The most divergent map of all maps. This is a combat arena that ends with a totally unexpected slaughter surprise. It is probably the most traditional map of the whole set, one that differs from the philosophy of the episode but still perfectly satisfying, fun, entertaining and well challenging. 4/5

MAP08: Zone X by Archi

We return to a realistic map that combines the urban effect with a bit of industrial architecture while offering progress through a palpable and realistic layout. With constant combat and a few surprises, it manages to make its mark. 4/5

MAP09: Vancouver by Archi

It has nothing to do with Vancouver, but more to do with Doom. This is a map that manages to perfectly combine the atmosphere of the episode with a good puzzle system and exploration without sacrificing combat at any time; offering interesting challenges, varied and progress that flows without pause under a good atmosphere of fun. 5/5

MAP10: Wood Prison by Azamael

Gigantic wooden (or brick?) fortress with a huge multitude of rooms and scenarios. Combat is intense and almost constant, but the layout leaves something to be desired at times, as well as a few missing textures. 3/5

MAP11: Seaport by Azamael

A fascinating concept that combines natural scenery with human architecture, giving it a distinctive touch that together with the MIDI and the progress system, create a very palpable atmosphere. 4/5

MAP12: Industrial Processing by Dragon Hunter

Quite large, dark and ambient. At times it reminds me of the tight maps of Doom 3, combining intense combat in tight corners that encourage tactical combat and be careful with our steps. The visuals are often hidden in the darkness, but it manages to convey a decent idea of abandoned tech-base. 3/5

MAP13: Controlled System by BeeWen

This is a map to end on a high note... gold. Huge and quite distinctive thanks to the excellent work of detail and ambience, adding a Silent Hill song, this map bleeds atmosphere and releases horrors. With a huge layout, unfortunately, it shoots itself in the foot by creating an almost incomprehensible path system that becomes incredibly complicated near the map, however, the challenging combat and wonderful visuals manage to give it its name. 4/5

MAP14: LOGOEND by Lainos

And finally, an unwinnable map that works like a credits map, but without the credits. Still, the monument and the skybox is great. Maybe music would have improved this. 3/5

Overall:

» Sacrament (2011) By Clan [B0S]

Deep in the snowy lands, far to the east and hidden in the veil of mystery and poem, lies an abandoned world, without faith, without time; a world where man does not exist and sin reigns, desolate lands, lost lands, home of the devil and battlefield for all those who dare to desecrate the... sacrament. Whoops! I missed the rails. That little paragraph may encapsulate a bit of the idea and excitement behind this 14 map WAD designed to totally blow your mind in the most unorthodox and fantastical way you can find within the confines of Doom. Sacrament is an episode created by the B0S clan that shows how the world of Doom still has much, much more to offer.

Sacrament's story is something that would make a writer's cheeks swell with the desire to make it a novel: The plot follows a "Clan [B0S] fighter" as he wakes up from a nightmare into an apocalypse already in-progress. It is then gradually revealed that "the worthy" have already ascended to heaven, while everyone else have turned into bloodthirsty demons who are left to infight. He journeys into a now-desolate world, searching for answers as to what had happen, and why only he retained his humanity. Extract from the Doomwiki. That alone sounds like something absolutely awesome that inmediatly gathers my attention, and as expected, the rest of the WAD also did. With 14 maps, you'd better be ready to embark on an adventure of your own that is worthwhile in every way and demonstrates with considerable quality how to create a world entirely within the confines of Doom in a creative, inventive and different way to what we are used to. As a result, a kind of environmental son that evokes distant sensations of desolation, added to an explicit combat that sometimes is silent and then surprises you with brutal violence.

Sacrament knows very well what it is trying to achieve and succeeds with flying colors, even if it is not to everyone's taste. The main aspect of this WAD and its distinctive point is nothing more and nothing less than the amazing presentation it has. When I talk about presentation, I mean the shared set of visuals, progressive narration and extra details like music or even the titlescreen. WAD makes extensive use of all these details to create an ironically perfect conglomeration. While presentation is often overlooked or of regular importance in the mainstream Doom landscape, it is an aspect that can still pleasantly elevate the value of a WAD. That's just what happens with Sacrament. @Lainos is the mastermind behind the conception of this work, and he manages to successfully convey the idea of desolation and abandonment that each map possesses. The cohesion is generally understandable, and even though the maps are not dependent on each other, each manages to create a shared atmosphere among the entire WAD, either through the use of realistic architecture combined with muted colors, or even sharing design similarities that evoke a shared history in different areas. Sacrament successfully manages to give that fantastic feeling; that of playing in an environmental adventure like no other.

It is worth mentioning the incredible use of music and colors. Music used to be a factor that ranked as a rear position among the overall quality of WADs in the old days. A positive factor, but not essential. On the other hand, modern times have begun to highlight the essentials of music and how they can pleasantly increase the quality of a WAD. Proof of this is the recent Cacoward for OST. Well, Sacrament makes extensive use of music from different sources and all in an .OGG format, which means that we will hear high quality music in glorious sound true to the way the author intended. While the music is not of original production for the project, the selection of each tune was done with enough attention to create a comprehensive odyssey of ambient symphonies. MIDI breaks the mood at a certain point, yes, but the great job they have taken in choosing songs that match the color palette of the map and the ambiance is a good example of how this format is perfect for drowning us in a world. Add to that an excellent use of skybox, dark blue colors and lots of creepy textures reminiscent of rust and confinement, and surprise, Sacrament is a work of pure ambience.

But not everything that shines blue is sapphire, and here we must see the strange, unorthodox and polemic side of this WAD, the gameplay. Sacrament tells you directly in its structure that it is interested in the environment, leaving the gameplay to take a back seat (not entirely true, but you get the point), something that many would consider sacrilege, but thanks to good management decisions and excellent production, it works under the same aesthetics of this project. Most of the maps make a great focus on exploration and environment, especially the @Lainos maps, which bleed pure desolation and loneliness. The influence of Lainos is felt in most of the maps, especially with the intense use of music and skybox, on the other hand, not everything is generally pure exploration, it would be somewhat detrimental to steal the gameplay completely to this map, and if what we want is action, well there is, in one way or another there is. Intense maps that offer explosive combat like MAP07: Arena by @Dragon Hunter or the huge and challenging MAP13: Controlled System by @BeeWen, both maps that show incredible use of design and devastating gameplay at times. However, if Sacrament is a black sheep, then these maps are Sacrament's black sheep, so to speak.

Sacrament is not meant to be a run-and-gun, nor a kind of traditional WAD. It comes with all the right to break schemes and demonstrate something different and well produced, something that however strange and fascinating it may be, it manages to establish its place within the annals of the history of WADs. While its complex layouts and divergent gameplay may be somewhat detrimental to some players, that doesn't detract from the simple fact that Sacrament is a quality work that deserves to be tried just for the one virtue it possesses, that of allowing us to plunge into a world of Doom.

[pass-the-bechdel]

The Good Place full series review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

96% (forty-eight of fifty).

What is the average percentage of female characters with names and lines for the full series?

49%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Forty-four.

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 50% female?

Twenty-eight.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Zero.

Positive Content Status:

Good - you might even say, strong - in the sense that it’s all there, pretty much all of the big representation bells are ringing, particularly the ones for women and racial diversity. That said, the show is generally content to sit pretty and not push the envelope on inclusivity, so if you’re looking for inspiration in-text instead of just in casting, you might be disappointed. At any rate, it’s a solid feel-good time, and not likely to make you mad (average rating of 3.01).

Which season had the best representation statistics overall?

The numbers stay pretty consistent across the whole series, but if I had to call a winner, it’s season four, which has the highest percentage of female characters and the only above-average positive content rating (though that was awarded somewhat cumulatively, and so doesn’t feel particularly well-earned by that season above the others). 

Which season had the worst representation statistics overall?

It’s such a close call, but season three must be the loser here by virtue of the lowest ratio of female to male characters; it also had one of the series’ two Bechdel fails. Like I said, it’s...a really close call.

Overall Series Quality:

There’s so much about it that is fresh and original and interesting, I wish I could love it more. After a magnificent debut season, the show suffers immensely for a lack of pacing and the absence of coherently-planned plot, and at times the stagnating characterisation and pointless filler caked into the cracks in the storytelling can be frustrating and/or tedious. I’m only as disappointed as I am because the potential for greatness was so strong. That said, even at it’s worst The Good Place is still entertaining, and most of it is better than that. It’s irreverent, it’s fun, it’s surprising, and sometimes it’s even as poignant as it is remarkable. I have my gripes, in droves, but that doesn’t mean this show is not worthy.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Imagine. Imagine a version of this show where the first season is basically the same, and the second season is...somewhat similar to how it is, but with more focus and direction, less time-wasting; a second season where figuring out that some fundamental change to their circumstances is necessary comes early, and instead of faffing about with ethical lessons in the fake neighbourhood again while Michael pretends he can get everyone to the Good Place, we get down to business with going on the run and into the Bad Place to find the judge and petition for help. Imagine this show, but the third season has none of that return to Earth crap, and instead, is the neighbourhood experiment from season four, properly fleshed out. And then season four is all about going to the Good Place and solving the problems there, addressing issues with the concept of utopia and the ineffectual bureaucracy of obsessive niceness (used for comedic effect in the actual show, but c’mon, there’s a whole untapped reservoir about morality there). Each season could have (gasp!) a properly-planned and plotted arc, dealing with a different school of ethical considerations, and I dunno, maybe the characterisation could have trajectory too, and the characters could vitally shape the storytelling, and maybe not get their personalities and experiences erased and rebooted over and over again, nullifying large swathes of the narrative which came before? Ideally, they could be reset zero (0) times, or at least have all their reboot experiences dumped back into them in the first few episodes of season two, so that they could proceed from there as whole people. Rebooting everyone’s personalities is not actually necessary to the plot in any way, and is, actually, incredibly detrimental to storytelling and especially, character development. Imagine this show, but just chilling out and actually telling a coherent story? 

I am all the more annoyed by how things turned out on this show because I know that the four seasons were planned for, rather than being the result of cancellation; the idea that the creators sat down and ‘plotted’ (using that term loosely) to make this mess drives me a little wild. The (attempted) avoidance of the dreaded ‘stagnation’ seems obvious, and it leads to major narrative shortcuts and jumps and instances where the show spends an episode or two on what should have been a half-season’s development, minimum, and yet at other times all momentum grinds to a halt for a bizarre bottle-type episode where the characters just talk about a concept for a while or work on some unimportant romantic subplot. The various ethical concepts that the show heavily incorporated as its bread and butter in the first season start to stick out like sore thumbs in season two, seemingly wedged into one episode or another for no real reason other than just to be there, and the fact that the show lets go of the idea of moral choices in the life mattering at all in the end leaves the backbone of the show in a very strange shape. I said in the season four review that I didn’t expect the show to come up with some One True Answer about how people should live their lives, but that I was baffled by the fact that the show side-stepped that altogether; what I expected them to conclude was something in the line of ‘we recognise that life is complicated, not all situations are created equal, and it can be hard to know how to proceed ethically or even to access ethical options within one’s circumstances. Still, it is important to do your best, not only for yourself but for your community, because the more good you put into the world, the more there will be to go around and come back to you. What matters most is that you are doing your best with what you’ve got’. The fact that the show distracted itself with fixing how the afterlife rewards people within the afterlife means that it suggests no incentive to perform moral actions in life, and frankly...who gives a fuck? The real world is the place we’re all living in, and there’s no point starting a conversation about morality in real life if the conclusion is just ‘guess we’ll straighten out all the fascists and bigots and the other pieces of shit after they die, so don’t worry, everyone gets to Heaven eventually!’

Anyway, if that seems like just a reiteration of what I said in the season four review, well. I’m still baffled by it. The other thing I was going to talk about in the season four review but held for the full series instead was that one big thing that I have railed about all the time since season one, and that’s PACING. For all ye wannabe-writers out there, please understand how important pacing is. Even vital plot or character beats can seem like meaningless filler in a poorly-paced story, because your audience’s mind is hardwired to try and follow narrative cues that are being incomprehensibly muddled. Standard structure can be played with, but if you toss it out in favour of ‘stuff just happens, ok? Except when it doesn’t’, you just end up with a soup of disconnected story ideas, and nothing threading it together. Character interactions and especially developments can help to create the through-line you need to keep the story functioning despite itself, but as variously noted with The Good Place...initial characterisation? Strong, excellent. Development? Not so much, not least because they kept getting deleted and rebooted. Also, time skips kept happening, and that’s a great way to fuck over your narrative coherence even more: remove the recognisable constant we call time! It’ll be fine! As with all things, it is perfectly possible to play around with this stuff, but you have to know what you’re doing and be doing it for a good reason, and that’s not what they had going on here. This was narrative soup, and when you have a soup, the pieces all kinda meld together and lose any individual purpose, meaning, or power they may have had. The result in this case was not bad, but it really could have been so much better, and literally all it needed for that was some attention being paid to the story structure via pacing.

So. The good news is, I think I have pretty well exhausted all of my complaints by now, and that leaves us with the good stuff, of which there was no paltry amount. The show was not a hit by accident (even if I do feel that it’s success had a lot to do with people sticking around after the spectacular first season, and not because it stayed strong throughout), and even if there was a lot of soup going on, what comprised that soup was all really fun and unique, and this made for a wonderful piece of light-hearted television that could be as hilarious as it was insightful. It still had a lot of great takes on things, the commentary was strong (even if it pulled all its punches towards the end), and whether the storytelling was ebbing or flowing, it was always delightful. The show also managed to pull a miraculous finale out of its hat, and that’s a rare thing in television; however the story wobbled over the course, the ending provided enough satisfaction to forgive just about any sins, especially if you don’t happen to have been watching with a deliberately critical eye. Do I wish that Eleanor got to hook up with a chick on-screen some time instead of just making a lot of bi remarks? Yes. Do I consider the show to have queerbaited instead of providing genuine rep? No. Is the underselling of the queer content my most significant representation complaint? Yes, it is, and that's good news considering the world we live in and the dearth of quality representation that the industry has brought us to expect. 

There's an important distinction to be made there, regarding the tokenistic representation that is very common these days in tv trying for brownie points and good publicity, exactly that kind of 'political' inclusivity that conservatives are always bitching about. It should not be surprising that I support that tokenism over the alternative of having no representation at all, but it can still be quite disheartening to feel like your identity or the identities that you value are being referenced as nothing more than an opportunity for some shitty producer to perform wokeness for attention, praise, and the almighty dollar. I bring this up because - even though The Good Place never really worked up much of a boost to its content rating - one thing I felt that it did really, really right was providing representation without it feeling tokenistic at all. Eleanor's bisexuality wasn't as prominent as I might have preferred, and as noted through the course of the show, there were times I feared it was more bait than real rep, but reflecting on it at the end, the way it was included feels organic, it never gets in the way in order to ensure the audience notices and is dutifully impressed. The number of women around and the multicoloured casting plays out even better; I never once felt cynical about the gender balance I was seeing, and I've said it before but I'll say it again: the fact that the show was packed with names from across the world gives me so much life. I'm still a little salty about Chidi's Senegalese origins getting the shaft (and we won't talk about 'Australia'), but the nonchalant diversity of naming goes such a long way to embracing the idea that this is a world for everyone (and an afterlife for everyone, too). And where anything else might fall apart or lose its way, that is an affirming thing. If you want feel-good tv, it’s here. This is the Good Place.

[misterbitches]

i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world 

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their “kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever)  where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me  like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol 

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person. 

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should. 

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but. 

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too. 

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free. 

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for. 

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish. 

second: it’s. my. life. 

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean?  there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable. 

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER

[keyofjetwolf]

Elisabeth: Like You (reprise)

Essen alternate title: “Poor Little Rich Girl (reprise)” Zuka alternate title: “Wait Is Elisabeth In This?”

“Like You (reprise)” is another song cut from the Takarazuka version, and as with many of its cuts, I feel it’s to the detriment of the character work. But that character work is with Elisabeth, and as we’ve seen several times throughout these posts, Takarazuka Elisabeth is unfortunately relegated to a side player in her own story, so I can understand why this was considered unimportant to the overall tale it was looking to tell. Additionally, as the “reprise” part suggests, it’s a revisit of Elisabeth’s first song, showing us who she was as a child with her life still ahead of her and her dreams alive and vibrant. Unfortunately, the Takarazuka version softballs that one as well, having Elisabeth’s father basically chastise her throughout (albeit affectionately) for not acting like a princess. It’s hard to use a past moment to illustrate the tragedy of the present when it’s basically going be her father saying “See? Told you so.”

Things are considerably different on that front with the Essen version, though, and so as we ride headlong toward Rudolf’s imminent demise, we take a moment to touch base with Elisabeth and see how she’s doing!

Awesome, glad to hear it!

We open the song with Elisabeth standing alone in her garden in god knows fucking where, but I’d guess somewhere relatively close to the main palace, unless Rudolf booked it across Europe. She communes first with a statue, seeming lost in the silent marble beauty of it, then begins to speak with warmth and affection to no one.

Let’s start digging in right now, because once you get the sense of the whole thing, THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT. Particularly linked from the previous scene, our natural assumption is that this is Rudolf, running to his mother for help and comfort. And it will be, we’re not wrong to go there. But this ISN’T to Rudolf, it’s to Heinrich Heine (the German Jewish writer who you may recall being mentioned as revered by Elisabeth back in “Hate”). However much Rudolf’s convinced himself that he and Elisabeth are those kindred souls, she identifies more with a dead writer she never met than her own son, and is kinder to a ghost than the living (keep note, this’ll be particularly relevant in a few songs).

(As a side note, as I typed this, I realized it’s another way the Takarazuka cutting this song makes sense; it shows Elisabeth’s affinity for death as a concept, rather than Death as a singular embodiment, which is only the exact opposite of the Takarazuka’s entire mission statement.)

Excited, showing genuine emotion that isn’t anger, apathy, or defiance, Elisabeth asks Heinrich Heine to stay a while.

Which, among an assortment of things, strongly suggests that this isn’t the first time Elisabeth and Heinrich have had a chat. So is she crazy, then? Well if we take all this literally, she’s been singing and dancing with the embodiment of Death since she was like fourteen, SO MAYBE. But I think more, it’s just a part of herself she indulges like a fantasy. In these moments, she’s once again that child who wanted nothing more than the freedom to write poems and ride with the wind. Which brings us back around to the greatest tragedy for Elisabeth: she CAN do that shit. Fuck, she IS. She wandered Europe for over a goddamn decade, going wherever she wanted, seeing whoever she wanted, doing whatever she wanted. Here she is in her personal private house/mansion/palace, and she’s LITERALLY WRITING POETRY. She’s doing exactly what she said she always wanted to do, yet she can’t own it. She isn’t writing poetry, she’s simply taking dictation. But realizing this would mean giving in, it would be accepting that maybe her life isn’t actually all that bad, it would mean she’d have to yield just a touch. And that, as we’ll have reinforced in just a moment, is something Elisabeth can never and WILL never do.

This isn’t Heinrich Heine, though, and for a moment, Elisabeth looks afraid.

A second to say that PIa Douwes absolutely fucking KILLS in this scene. She pretty much does in all scenes, true, but this one is so dependent on sheer acting, and acting to someone who isn’t even there to boot, and she conveys so many emotions so well, it’s incredible.

So yeah, Elisabeth looks afraid for a second when she realizes she’s opened up, even just a tiny crack, to someone else. And it’s important to remember, the primary point of this scene is to prepare us for the next, to help us understand Elisabeth’s feelings before she’ll bring it all to bear on poor doomed Rudolf. She’s SO in control of herself, so bound and determined to never bend, that even the idea of expressing a genuine-even-if-twisted emotion TO THE WRONG GHOST causes to her to freeze in terror for a second.

It fades quickly enough when she recognizes the spirit is her father instead, and then we finally get what’s probably the truest Elisabeth we’ve seen since her wedding night. They begin to sing together, reprising their song from the beginning of the musical, and Elisabeth allows herself to be lost in it for a moment. But just a moment.

“I once wanted to be like you,” she says, literally waving away the entire idea. And what we get next is such an interesting way of calling Elisabeth to task. Of her calling HERSELF to task. At least if you’re with me on “this shit isn’t actually happening”. Otherwise, enjoy it as an adult woman and her dead father arguing like they were both fifty years younger (and also both alive).

For myself, much like with needing to filter her own creativity and joy through Heinrich Heine, Elisabeth can’t actually question herself and her choices. A question suggests uncertainty, a question is a weakness. Elisabeth has no room for that shit in her life, but that doesn’t just make doubts go away, and so she turns them into something she can argue against, in the guise of someone she loves and trusts, and who she most aspired to be.

If she holds firm against her father, the embodiment of her life’s hopes and dreams, she can stand firm against anyone. (SORRY ONCE AGAIN ABOUT YOUR LIFE RUDOLF)

“Why are you speaking with the dead?” Dad rather reasonably asks.

“What should I talk about with the living?” Elisabeth counters. She’s not living, after all, and the only true understanding she’s gotten came from Death.

"You are cynical, you are bitter and alone.”

“They trained me to be an Empress!” Translation: This is what they wanted, so this is what they get! It really helps to bring out the sheer fucking SPITE of it all in Elisabeth, and how in turn that spite has only hurt herself.

"To lock yourself away, you cannot be free.” Or, as I’m reading it, “BITCH YOU’RE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF CAN YOU TAKE IT DOWN TO A TWELVE OR SOMETHING JESUS FUCK”.  He said, ghostily.

“I’m sick of everything,” Elisabeth says, in the closest thing I think we’ll ever have to her yielding a point.

It was a rough job, not posting every single last glorious facial expression, but I finally settled on this one, because how can you properly convey the look of pure unsullied SHOCK on her face at this. “You have to make an effort to be happy!” Dad says. “I’m sorry what the shit?” Elisabeth’s face replies. Are you suggesting that I -- a mere unencumbered empress of Austria-Hungary, globally welcomed and adored, with enough finances to live in luxury every hour of every day for my entire life -- must PUT IN EFFORT??? DADDY HOW COULD YOU

Elisabeth gets up now, putting distance between herself and the poems she totally didn’t write and this entirely galling suggestion that happiness could be right there if she’d just fucking reach for it. “Why lie to yourself?” she counters, still insisting on her own misery.

Dad then reminds her how she wasn’t even this accepting of her situation when she was a child and ACTUALLY had no control over anything. “Maybe,” she agrees, before adding, “because I knew nothing of people.”

NO WONDER DEATH IS THE ONLY ONE WHO’LL CHAT TO YOU ELISABETH YOU’RE A FUCKING DOWNER

She and her father sing a bit more of their song from the past, but it’s a short-lived spark of joy. “Now, it’s too late,” she says.

:”Adieu, Sisi,” he replies, echoing what he would say to her in parting as a child. But the tone of it is completely different, undeniably carrying the weight of a goodbye. Be it her father or her own thoughts, this is the last time they will try. Elisabeth’s mind is set, and she will not be moved.

"I will never be like you,” she announces to no one, not vowing, just deeply resigned.

JUST IN TIME FOR RUDOLF TO ENTER WOW GREAT TIMING AS ALWAYS BUDDY